Loving Someone Who Isn't Good At Loving

People who love someone who isn't good at loving can find themselves in an emotional trap. They try so hard to 'change' or 'rescue' their partner by making all manner of emotional self-sacrifices.

Unfortunately, this only succeeds in stifling their own happiness. People who are trying to 'awaken the love' in their partner usually focus on constantly pleasing the other person. This can stifle aspects of themselves which the other criticise such as: passion, fun, spontaneity, ambition.

Another rescuing trait is to be 'over-cheerful' to make up for the lack of joy in the partner or relationship. Sometimes this results in parents relying on their children for emotional joy and support, which is lacking in their marriage. Yet all this tends to bring more an more disappointment as nothing ever changes. The golden rule to remember is 'just because you love someone it does not mean you are responsible for their happiness. We are responsible for our own happiness'.


This is rule does not mean that you have to stop doing lovely things for people because you like to make them smile and feel better. The rule is about 'responsibility' or as I prefer to think about it as two words; respond - ability. We all have the ability to respond to people in various circumstances, but it is always our choice how we respond. You can keep responding the way you all-ways do and the chances are you nothing will ever change for you in the relationship.

Changing your behaviour requires you acknowledging and accepting how you are behaving at this time. Which is why the Mye Programe (Manage Your Emotions Programme) is great at helping you to discover how you are behaving at this time. What is   also important is looking at the emotions which drive that behaviour. Once you have understood why you do what you do, you can then make a choice to change. The Mye Programme, can do just that ! Visit the website to find out more www.myenow.com